day to day

I may be dillusinal, but I have this expectation to find something in life that I was created to do.  Like eventually, if we listen to God and don't settle, we will have this moment where everything is greatness and yell out "this is what i was put on this earth to do!"  Sure there will days, even weeks where everything goes crazy and you wonder "what am i doing right now", but for the most part you love what you do and life is good.  I feel like we all can get this if we push hard enough.  For me, I have spent quite a bit of time recently wondering, "what am i doing, exactly" but I do believe this is where God has led me and so I am doing my best to find the " this is what i was made for" role, feeling, or whatever it may be.  I am currently getting glimpses of what that looks like, and that is enough to keep me going.  

Significance

I have been recently having some confusion/frustration with the community group my wife and I lead.  Quite literally, at times, I am sitting there on Monday nights wondering "what in the world is going on right here" "why is this significant enough for people to even show up?"  

but

this morning I gained some clarity.  I do this to see people come alive.  To see people engage their relationship with God at deeper levels.   I do it to see people who are hurting, reserved,  and insecure engage friendships, receive some healing and find security in our community.  I do it so that people know, they are taken seriously.  

I do it because I want to provide a place where people can engage life to the fullest.  Where they can be real, let people see their ugliness and but keep fighting for beauty.  A place where they find other real people who don't have all the answers but want to journey side by side, bearing each other's burdens and speaking truth to one another.  Where righteousness purity, love, friendship are held as high values, but not used for condemnation.

I do it for Restoration.  to see people's hearts restored,  made whole, and able to love as Christ loves us.  

I know what we do is not perfect and I wouldn't want it to be..... but these things I have talked about are worth fighting for.  People's hearts are worth fighting for... and this is what I want our group to be about.  Fighting for each other, when we cannot fight for ourselves.