Life

The past few weeks have been.... wonderfully difficult.  I have found myself confused but yet at the same time finding some very good clarity.  Terrified but excited.  Beaten down but at the same time stronger than ever.  It is like life is hitting me to the fullest and I have no idea what to do.

First off, Mindie and I are pregnat!  Which I am stoked about.  I really like the idea of being a father.  I feel like God has been developing a father's heart in me since I was a little kid.  I have always liked being around and doing my part to take care of younger people.  And I know that my wife is going to be an awesome mother!  I can't wait to see her live that out.  This would be the terrified but excited.

Right now, our community is in the proces of making some changes.  We are becoming more independent, which means we need to start defining things and roles for everyone.  The community cannot be healthy without each individual doing their part to live out the values have been talking about.  But in this process of definition we there has been quite a bit of miscommunication and confusion.  In the midst of the confusion some great clarity has come about.  We know that our values cannot be things that people hope to be swept into, they are things that individuals create for themselves. (Confusion, but clarity) 

  People have been offended and hurt.  I have felt the brunt of these instances.  But at the same time I have seen some people be more real and come more to life than ever before, which has been so encouraging.  (Beaten/but yet stronger)

I definitely do not write this to complain, b/c I am so thankful that God has created a life that has such complex struggle and simple joy.  I love that this life was created for us to share with each other.  I love my friends and my family.  I love that we push through the hard times and enjoy the blessings together.  I am blessed and thankful.